It's a well known scientific fact that the elusive entity called 'the Groove' was perfected in 1982-1983. People had been having a go at it since the 1400s - but early attempts were stymied by the fact it's pretty much impossible to get your funk on with a lute.The 50s and early 60s were too wired on speed to really dig 'the Groove', and in the late 60s they liked to call themselves 'groovy' - but that's not the same thing at all. By the mid 70s they actually started to really get close - but there wasn't quite enough dorkiness around to truly find the sweet spot.
Because that's the thing... perfection of 'the Groove' actually relied on just the right alchemy of coolness and nerdiness that the early 80s supplied in almost obscene quantities. Take the dudes on the right, for instance. You wouldn't have thought they were members of the high Magi who'd driven 'the Groove' to it's zenith. They're from Denmark. It's like spies, though. The best ones are the quiet dudes who could be lab technicians, but actually know 478 ways to kill you with a lavatory brush.
So in 1983 Laid Back released White Horse on the world. It's got a stripped back drum pattern. It's got weird, staccatto peeps and sqwacks. It's got jerky, spazzy synths. And then the bassline rolls in, scoops up all those dorky elements and fuses them into one motherfucker of a perfect groove. If George Orwell had known there'd be music like this in 1983, he wouldn't have written 1984.
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